This was a fantasy story I wrote as a joke. It was first published on this blog in October 2014, on the first anniversary of the blog.
Knight lunged at the sleeping dragon, his sword fully extended. Kill the wretched creature, his mind screamed, before it wakes up. Suddenly, the dragon opened its eyes and snatched the sword with its big teeth, wrenching it out of Knight’s hand. It’d kill me now, Knight thought and straightened up proudly. He wouldn’t bow to the monster, wouldn’t give it the satisfaction to see his fear.
The dragon ignored him. It chomped happily on the sword and swallowed loudly. Then it grabbed the shield, inspected it, and tossed it away, out of the cave, over Knight’s head.
“Wood,” the dragon rumbled disgustedly. “Your shield is wood. I don’t like wood. Next time, bring copper pots. Much tastier.” Every R rolled in its chest like thunder. It closed its eyes again and put its big head down. Then it opened one eye. “You can go,” it said kindly.
Baffled, Knight stumbled out of the cave and picked up his wooden shield. It was cracked. Copper pots? The damn lizard wanted him to bring copper pots? What was he, a dragon’s gourmet cook? Seething with indignation, he started down the mountain path towards civilization. Would the dragon accept tin pots instead? They were much cheaper.
Original art by Ulisse Aldrovandi